If you have been married any time at all, you probably have faced the battle of how to deal with unfulfilled expectations within your home.
With Valentine’s Day just behind us, I thought it would be a great time to confront this topic of unfulfilled expectations, the damage they can cause, and how to avoid them.
The truth is, the money market has made a feast of holidays and special occasions. These special holidays can come with a lot of pressure and a large price . I’m not bashing holidays nor traditions, but we really shouldn’t let the pressure of those around us determine what we must do for our families, even when it comes down to holidays and traditions. I mean really, just because you didn’t have this years, new outfit for the elf on the shelf’s best friend… doesn’t mean your Christmas was in vain! In fact, I prefer the shepherd anyway lol . But that’s a fact for another day. 😜
How to deal with unfulfilled expectations
Who and where are some of these unfulfilled expectations coming from of which are pressuring our families and homes?
A few areas that unfulfilled expectations come from are…
social media & the web
friends & family
ourselves & our past
How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from social media & the web
Many of our “unrealistic ideas” come from social media or the web. This is really kind of sad. Why, you may ask? Because, the fact is, we are overwhelming ourselves, our families, and our homes with expectations birthed from people we don’t even know! We think they have it all together and really, we just see the highlights of many peoples lives. We then expect our life to look like this “perfect fairytale” made up of little clips of some strangers “few” special moments. Why is it that our homes must have the latest style for us to feel a sense of joy, our kids the best Pinterest birthday party to be happy… (or is it for us to be happy?) and our poor husbands must practically preform a ridiculous check list of social media inspired honey do’s before they meet the qualifications of a “good” husband? Whatever happened to God’s qualifications of a peaceful home and Godly spouse? My suggestion? Drop the fairy tale idea, acknowledge you are human, (as is whoever you have been following after online).Then consider limiting your time from such powerful/negative influences and replacing them with something positive and actually productive such as the standards of a spouse found in Ephesians 5:22-33 or the foundations of homemaking in Proverbs 31.
How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from friends & family
How to deal with unfulfilled expectations caused by friends and family can be quite tricky. Sometimes friends and family don’t even realize the pressure they are putting on you while other times they may feel like their expectations are justified by your well being and their love for you. We must realize that we have our own family and own decisions to make according to God’s direction. We cannot base the expectations of what our home should be or how it should operate by what our friends or family expect. With that said, we must be cautious and loving when we go against the grind of friends and family. You can do what’s right the wrong way or you can do what’s right the right way! If your gonna do it right, why not do it all the way right? Always remeber that a “friend loveth at all times” … Proverbs 17:17 (even when we disagree) and a proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” that’s still true even with friends & family.
How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from ourselves
The last area I want to discuss is how to deal with unfulfilled expectations that we have placed on ourselves . These expectations may have originated from the previous points above (things we have seen on the web or by ideas family & friends may have birthed) . Or they may have been made by our raising, how our childhood was orchestrated, or how we always imagined the perfect home to be. As ladies, we are often our highest critic. More times than not, we find ourselves criticizing everything about ourselves to no avail and with no mercy. “My house is never clean, my kids won’t listen, my clothes don’t fit, I just can’t, can’t, can’t, CAN’T!!” Anybody relate, or do I stand here alone? The truth is, we are human and we must rely on God to help us be the wife, mom, and homemaker that we should be. We cannot dwell on such negative thinking of ourselves and we cannot set expectations that are unreasonable.
…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
In closing
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Is prayer a priority in your life? I ask this question, not because I’m some expert but because this is a area the Lord is continuously working on in my heart and life. It is so easy to let the cares of this world slip in, and before we know it, our priorities are all mixed up. Taking evaluation can help get our priorities back in order .
“Mommy , when are you going to pray today?” Asked my 4 year old little boy the other day. I quickly explained that I had gotten up before Him to pray and that I made morning prayer a regular habit. I went on to explain how we should begin everyday with God. As he happily walked away with my answer, I pondered his question. Although I was happy that I could say I had prayed, I was troubled at the fact that he wasn’t so sure…
My mind went back to a Mother’s Day banquet I had a attended before I married. The honored elder lady began to advise the mothers of the crowd to never forget to pray in front of your children. I had indeed forgotten lately. I had prayed alone, I had even prayed with my child daily, but praying in front of him where he could witness the spirit of God and he could see the example of prayer, this I had a slacked on.
So I ask you now as I asked myself, When do you pray? Is prayer a priority in every area of your life?
When should I pray as a Mom?
The truth is, finding “time” to pray as a mom can be a challenge. Not that we don’t want to and not that we don’t try, but even when we do get down it’s often interrupted by the many needs and distractions of our tiny blessings. This is why prayer must be a priority in our lives, if it is not, it will not happen.
I’ve heard so many humorous stories of mom’s trying to “stow away & pray” . One friend noted her 5 kids playing church and riding her back like a horse as she plead before the Lord. She hated to scold them when they were “shouting” , encouraged by her prayer. 😂 Sometimes as mom that’s just how it is. It helps when you realize that your not the only mom standing face forward in the battle of prayer.
Why isn’t prayer easy? Because it’s just that…it’s a battle! No battle has ever been easy. Prayer is us fighting for our soul. It’s us fighting for our family. Fighting for our home and fighting for those little ones that make us a mom. When you realize that the children who seem to distract your prayer time are exactly what you are fighting for, the distractions don’t seem so bad and the priority of prayer seems even greater.
-If prayer fights for so much, then my prayer is worth fighting for!-
Five times a mom should pray
1. Alone before God
2. In front of her children
3. With her children
4. With her husband
5. Always without ceasing
I realize as a Mom, that all of these prayer times may not happen every single day. These five types of prayer are ways I personally have found to be beneficial and even detrimental to my prayer life. With that said, I do believe if prayer is a priority in your life then prayer will take place every day in some way.
Why should I pray …
1. Why should I Pray alone before God?
Alone time with God gives you an opportunity to give 100 percent of your focus to Him. It’s a special time that you can lay your daily burdens at his feet and receive strength. It’s a time of renewing, reviving, and refreshing. God deserves this time and we each need it.
Jesus set the example many times as he would stow away and pray. As s mom, a 40 day trip in the wilderness to pray may sound wonderful at times, but we all know this won’t happen 😂. Sometimes, we are more like Hannah, who slipped away for a bit once everyone was served, taking her plea before the Lord. Slipping away, even if it’s a few minutes during the kids nap time, is a important part of your prayer life that can be refreshing, renewing, and as in Hannah’s case, even life changing. God can do more for us in 5 minutes than we can do in alifetime.
(1 Samuel 1:18-19)…So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad. And they rose up in the morning early, and worshiped before the Lord, and returned, and came to their house to Ramah: and Elkanah knew Hannah his wife; and the Lord remembered her. Wherefore it came to pass, when the time was come about after Hannah had conceived , that she bare a son, and called his name Samuel…KJV
2. Why should I pray in front of my children?
Praying in front of your children sets the example of prayer in their life. This gives them an opportunity to experience what a true relationship with God is like and the importance of it in your life home. It is indeed a way of training your child after the things of God and being a light to them.
3.Why should I pray with my children?
Praying with your children teaches them to pray for themselves and to have a one on one relationship the God. Through their prayer they can experience God in a personal way at a young age. Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said , suffer little children , and forbid them not, to come unto me…KJV
4.Why should I pray with my husband?
Praying with your husband binds your marriage with prayer. It unites you together to face the daily battles and shows your children you are fighting together for them .Matt 18:20 Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them KJV
5.Why should I pray witout ceasing?
1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing KJV Many people misinterpret this commandment and say “it is impossible to pray all day” . The idea here is to have a mindset of prayer. As the day goes on, we can make a habit to pray about the things theough out the day . It’s amazing how much your mind can be renewed and spirit lifted when this type of prayer is practiced. Turn your daily worries into prayers and your scattered thoughts into praise then watch the results in your mind , spirit , and home.
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because He trusteth in Thee
Make Prayer A Priority
If you are struggling with prayer time as a mom, I suggest doing everything in your power to place prayer at the very top of your priority list. When prayer is a priority in your life, it will happen. That doesn’t mean there won’t be times your prayer time isn’t interupted by moterly duties, but if prayer is a priority, you will make sure it happens one way or another.
When prayer is a priority in your life, it WILL happen
I believe in beginning my day with prayer. Why wouldn’t I begin my day with prayer when I have no idea what I may face in the hours to come? I personally need the strength I receive in prayer to get me through the day.
I also realize as a mom, sometimes my morning prayer routine is interrupted. Whether it consist of me over sleeping, my children under sleeping, or something else. Then there is othertimes, I just need to fit some more one on one time with God.
Here are some tips I use to prioritize prayer in my life as a busy mom.
Tips to prioritize prayer as a busy mom
•Wake up a little earlier then the rest of the family to find time to pray alone or with your spouse. If you are not getting enough sleep, you can even go back to bed after prayer time!
•We all want to teach our children to sit quietly while we pray, and while there definitely IS a time for that, I try not to focus on this meanignful lesson of respect every time I go to prayer. Sometimes, my prayer life needs my full attention. In these times, I will often occupy my children elsewhere and although I am still implimenting rules of respect, they will have something to keep them busy for a bit while I pray. For example- instead of sitting quietly on the couch, I may set out some puzzles in the next room for them to quietly play. I will let them know up front that mommy is praying and they must sit and play quietly and only get me if there is a emergency.
•Don’t feel bad to take up someone’s offer to watch the kids while you go pray! If your spouse offers to watch the kiddos while you get some things done, add prayer to the top of that list and don’t feel a bit guilty. Because remember, prayer is a priority!
•Invite your kids to pray with you. You may be surprised how good they cooperate if they are included, especially when they begin to feel the presence of the Lord.
•Find time to pray during your child’s nap time or quiet times.
•If you are a walking prayer, go outside and walk laps while you pray. This works perfect with little children, esspecially when there is a play set nearby.
•Stay up after the children go to bed. If possible, start laying them down a little earlier to give you some time to pray before you end your day. The only thing better then ending your day with prayer, is beginning it with prayer. I recommend practicing both.
I am no expert on this great topic of prayer .But as I challenge myself I hope to also challenge another mother or wife to prioritize prayer higher than ever in their life and to keep fighting on.
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Please realize this post has been written from my experience. I believe the world has put a hopeless and negative perspective on Mother-in-law relationships of which we to often except without opposition . I have talked to many of my friends who have faces similar Mother-in-law relationship problems. Some have slowly figured them out by applying similar concepts as I’m about to address, while others have either give up or have no desire to even try. I personally believe we, as children of God, are challenged to at least try to get along with our Mother-in-law. If not for anything, we should try for the peace of our own homes. No grand baby should be in the middle of a mom and grandma hate club, and no husband should be pulled between the devotion of his mom and wife. Let us rise up today …
Proverbs 31
12.She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongueisthe law of kindness.
28.Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husbandalso, and he praiseth her.
29.Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30.Favourisdeceitful, and beautyisvain:buta womanthatfeareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31.Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Let us apply
Can your character within your Mother-in-law relationship be spoken of as above?
Why are our Mother-in-laws, or even other family members the “exception” to the Godly principles we have been taught all of our life? I have yet to find the exception allowed within God’s word.
If we could stop and apply some Godly principles to our Mother-in-law relationships we may find that we indeed CAN get along with our Mother-in-law.
Follow peace with all men without which no man shall see God…
Disclaimer: I realize every situation is different and has it’s own obstacles. If you have done your part to get along with your Mother-in-law, and your mother/ daughter-in-law relationship is still rough, don’t feel discouraged. Keep up the good work and continue to trust God:
Lessons I’ve learned on how to get along with my Mother-in-law
My mother-in-law has taught me a LOT!If there is one thing I could tell a young newly-wed wife it would be , “try to learn to get along with your mother in law”.
Notice I said “learn”, it’s not always easy and sometimes it is indeed a learning process. You may have to learn a few things about each other but if you willing to learn and forgive you are already a step in the right direction!
I can honestly say, after almost 10 years of being married into the family, and many struggles, my Mother-in-law (AkA ‘Mama’) is very dear to my heart. Like anybody we have had our ups and downs, and no SHE has not always been the “down” side, more times then not I was!
If I could have learned and accepted a few of the principles I’m about to share from the beginning, I believe things could have been a tad bit smoother for both of us starting out.
I do not wish to change the past, I just want to work on the future. And to encourage others who may face similar obstacles while trying to get along with their Mother-in-law.
-Things I wish I had known-
Never fear that your mother-in-law will “replace your mom”. She cant, she won’t, and most likely she doesn’t even want to. With that being said, in many cases, she can still be like a 2nd mom to you if you let her.
Don’t expect your mother-in-law to act just like your mother or to have the same suggestion’s, advice, reactions and characteristics. Unfulfilled expectations have killed many relationships of all types .
Just because your mother in law is different then your mom, doesn’t mean she’s always wrong. Respect her and consider what she has to say no matter if you agree or not. You might even learn something now and again! I know I have!
Remember your mother-in-law probably loves you as much as her own child (mine sure does!). Love is a choice and if you will choice to love her back, with God’s help, you can both learn to deal with your differences much easier. (Love covers a multitude of sins … ) with love, getting along with your Mother-in-law becomes a lot easier.
Learn to except and respect your differences instead of despising or criticizing them. When you met & married your husband you excepted many of his different ways without batting a eye, I’m sure you can put up with a few from your mother-in-law too if you would but try .
Lastly, don’t take your mother-in-law for granted. Recognize how much she loves you. Show her respect (she did mother your husband after all). Show gratefulness when she helps you out. And most of all give grace when needed, for none of us are perfect, not her and not even you. If you can apply these three things daily.. love, respect, and gratitude I believe you can see a difference in the process of getting along with your Mother-in-law.
Let us reconsider
If your relationship with your Mother- in-law seems strained, know that God put her in your life for a reason – try to reconsider your differences recognize the blessings. Ask yourself occasionally how you can be a blessing to her.. you never know, she might be facing some mind battles about you too, such as “I want her to know I love her. I’m just trying to except her. Does she love me? She does not respect my advise.
No, I don’t have all of the answers to troubled mother-in-law relationships that the world has seemed to put acceptance on. But I do know it does not have to be that way in every single case. In particularly when both parties are children of God, (especially then). Often times we can do so much more to strengthen a relationship if we would take time to notice our own flaws and stop pointing out the downfalls of others.Stop saying “I can’t get along with my Mother-in-law” and do something about it. The best place to begin is within the walls of our own hearts.
Find something in common and begin building
Me and my Mother-in-law are as different as night and day, we even have topics I have learned to avoid lol but even with that, we have still been able to find some things in common over the past 9 yrs.
It’s with those things, our family, and most of all our God that we continue to build our relationship on, for without Him we can do nothing. I challenge you to do the same.
Acknowledgments
I have published this post with approval from my Mother-in-law. I do want to take a moment and thank her for who she is and for her love and support.
Dear Mama,
Thank you raising an amazing son, loving me like your own, and for the wonderful Nana you are to mine & Mark’s children. You are the best mother-in-law God could have given me. Most of all, thank you for your commitment to Christ. Being His faithful child is what makes you who you are. Don’t ever stop living the example!
Your daughter (in-law), Erica
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A few weeks ago I had been specifically praying about something in my life and I felt the Lord speak to my heart the saluting to my problem.
“Kill The Flesh & Feed The Spirit”
As simple as that sounds, it has a very broad definition of actions, if you think about it. It truly can be the solution to many of our problems. So off I went (and am), on a pursuit to do just that…
I thought back to my teen years when memorizing the Bible was a part of my every day life, when had I lost the “art/practice”? And why had I let it go? It surely must be just as important (if not more) than it was then. I thought of a “memorization study Bible” I had tucked away …somewhere.. 🤔. I hadn’t done more than crack it open since receiving the gift. As sat down with the memorization bible in hand, it seemed as if it had been laying in wait for this very moment.
Why should I memorize the Bible?
When I flipped open to the first page of my memorization bible, I found some amazingly profound words from some amazing people about memorizing the Bible. I thought I would share these with you.
“No other single discipline is more useful and rewarding than this…your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be sharper and much more effective. Your attitude and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified.”
– Charles R. Swindoll
“Store these Scriptures away so that if your Bible is ever taken from you, you will have the Word of God written on the tablet of your heart”
-the late Rev Billy Graham
“Nothing can replace Bible memory in doing what it was designed to do-forging a connection between the word, the head, and the heart.”
-John Piper
“Nobody can take away from you those text from the Bible which you have learned by heart”
-Corrie Ten Boom
If my goal of killing the flesh and feeding the spirit had not been enough to coerce me into bible memorization, then I surely would have enough motivation now. The words of these wise men stirred me and made me realize just what I have been missing in my slack of scripture memorization.
I believe the words of these wise men have more truth in today then when they were spoken.
Memorization Techniques
I have tried many memorization techniques to memorize the Bible, especially in my homeschool years. Repetitive quoting, repetitive writing, and so on, but I had never heard of anyone putting it all together like “Meyer” does in the KJV memorization bible. The way he explains his memorization makes perfect sense! I quote “ Meyer” This has got to be the best explanation on how to memorize the Bible I have ever heard of! So, the real question is, does it work?
Does using the memorization bibles technique to memorize the Bible really work?
Personally, after several days of use, I would have to say, yes. I immediately could tell a advantage in using the eye, ear, and mind to memorize the Bible over using one method at a time.
Exactly how does this work?
“Meyer” clearly explains the process of his memorization technique in the first few pages of the memorization bible. The steps are clear and simple. They go something like this…
1. Begin with one verse until memorized
2. Write out the verse line by line as written in the memorization bible while quoting it out loud
3. Repeat until verse is memorized
4. Move on to next verse
This is a very abbreviated version of the memorization method taught. Each line of words have been specifically chosen to help the mind remember and each line is followed by a number that specifies the amount of words in the line you are writing, Meyer explains how all of this works together in the memorization bible.
As a mom, when do I find time to memorize the Bible?
I personally have been setting aside some extra time in the mornings (before the kiddos wake) to memorize.
I make sure my prayers and daily reading are done first then I set down with a cup of “low carb” cofee and get to memorizing. The quiet time spent with the things of God is a priceless strength to me before the start of a busy “mom” day. If you are interested in how and why I read my Bible through every year, check out the link below. 😉
The fact is, you could set this time aside at any point of your day. You will need a few minutes of silence (or almost silence) to benefit the most of your time. Think of times such as right before bed, in the early mornings, during the kids nap/quiet time, while they play outside, etc.
Do I memorize every day and for how long do I memorize?
No, I do not. Some days I get behind on rest or my kids wake up early. I always focus on getting my praying and reading done first before bible memorization. When these days come, and they do every week, I just wait until “tomorrow” or if, by chance, my kids both nap I may do a little memorization then.
I also have been skipping Sundays. Sundays are super busy in our life. I use this day and any other “skipped” days, to practice quoting the verse by memory, as I go about the day. This keeps it fresh on my mind and is still part of the memorization process.
How much time do I spend memorizing each day?
This really varies but ideally, I like to spend about 20-30 min memorizing. With that said, there have been some days I barely get 10min in and other days, I’ve spent up towards 45min in memorization.
The fact is, if you just have 10-15min to spare, give your best in that 10-15 min and you will see results. Just 10min a day is 3,650 minutes in one year! That averages out to almost 61 hours or 2.5 full 24 hour days of bible memorization. ❤️ Never underestimate your best even if it seems little to you.
A little of your best is better than a lot of less
Where should I even start?
Proverbs 31
As a Christian homemaker, I personally would begin to memorize the Bible in Proverbs 31. I have attempted memorizing this chapter a few different times and although I have much of it etched in my memory, I kept getting hung up part way through. I’m super excited to finish it up with the memorization bible. This will definitely be my next chapter I tackle and would have been the first if I had been thinking straight when I started 😂.
Note- the memorization bible that I have is the KJV New Testament only. You will need to use a different KJV Bible and apply the memorization technique to all passage that come from the Old Testament.
There are actually a few recommendation listed in the memorization bible itself which they have already made into a list for you. I thought these were great starting points such as…
•Verses on Sin to salvation
•Important New Testament verses
Another way to choose a passage to began to memorize the Bible would be to focus on the struggle areas in your life. For instance, if you face a lot of fear or discouragement, you could search for passages that deal with this.
If you want to practice filling your heart and mind with words of praise, Psalms and Proverbs would be wonderful places to start.
Let’s say you are striving to become a better soul winner, Romans may be a great start for you. In particular the “Roman Road”.
Want to be able to tell the stories of Jesus to your children in detail? The epistles can help you with that.
The fact is, you really can’t go wrong anywhere you start, I just recommend starting. Once you finish a chapter you can always switch to a different area as you memorize the Bible.
Starting somewhere is better than starting nowhere
What are you waiting for?!
Grab your own bible or you can order a KJV memorization Bible here (this is NOT an affiliate link) and get to memorizing the sacred word of God. You have nothing to lose and a WHOLE LOT to gain!
If your interested in why I read my bible through each year and how you can do the same by following one of several reading plan options, click here!
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Today I want to discuss “How to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety.
So…Is Postpartum depression and anxiety real? YES!
Why is it, that us moms fail to talk about postpartum depression & anxiety until after we have mercilessly faced it?
For me, I was somewhat afraid people would think I was crazy, because, to be honest, I wasn’t quite convinced I wasn’t myself.
I would think things like…
Will people think I’m making this all up?
What if they think I’m losing it ?
Will they think I’m a bad mother?
Am I a bad mom?
Can I do this mom thing right?
Will these feelings ever go away?
How will I ever lose this baby weight?
Will the stretch marks go away?
How can my husband think I’m beautiful?
Will I ever be able to interact with people again?
Am I going to ever sleep again?
Will my baby ever stop crying so much?
I’m so exhausted…
When do I pray?
Am I the only person going through this?
What’s wrong with me?
Am I going crazy?
How to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety
Depression & anxiety are a real thing. Wether it be “postpartum” or at some other point in your life. If you are facing negative thoughts and feelings that impact the way you act and live then you may be facing depression or anxiety.
I have heard moms declare months and even years after delivery that they are still facing postpartum depression and anxiety. I used to secretly “roll” my eyes, to what I thought, was exaggerated statements. Years later, after facing several months of postpartum anxiety myself, I began to study more into the problem. I knew from experience that it was real, but I wanted to know more. Could someone really face these issues for months or years after a child’s birth? Are we as Christians destined to be overcome by this “hormonal” battle? If not, then how do I overcome postpartum depression and anxiety?
From my research, I’ve discovered that some mothers never even face postpartum depression or anxiety. But for those of us that do, we know that it is, oh. so. real.
What I found while studying on postpartum depression and anxiety
Medical research explains how the feelings mothers have are caused by hormonal disruption, AKA hormonal imbalance, and that is a natural part of the birthing process to experience these feelings. Some refer its similarities to emotions that accompany our monthly cycle, yet magnified greatly. However you want to explain it, it’s hard, it’s real, and your not alone.
So, why is it we hear of so many mothers facing these battles long after this timeframe?
After much bible studying, weeks of research, and discussions with mothers who overcame post partum depression and anxiety, I personally believe, that the anxiety and depression experienced by postpartum mothers is truly triggered by hormone imbalances and that it is an actual medical situation that is real, and in most cases, eventually works itself out.
* Health concern
As mentioned above, most postpartum hormone imbalances do not last forever. If you are experiencing severe extended hormonal issues, along with other health symptoms, I do recommend talking to your doctor to make sure your body is recovering correctly and is not having any problems replenishing the hormones that it is lacking. This is a rare but real condition and your doctor should be able to easily recognize if you are suffering from such problems.
Just because postpartum depression usually works itself out, doesn’t mean you don’t need support or help to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety, because you definitely do! Just like in any trial, you need your family, your church, your friends, and most of all, God, He’s the one who can help you truly overcome postpartum depression and anxiety. On the other hand, I also believe that if post postpartum depression is not dealt with promptly, it can lead to more than a hormonal imbalance…
An Inch Or A Mile
Most of us however, find ourselves well past the 6-8week postpartum time frame, healthy , and yet, we are still facing some sort of depression & anxiety. What happened?
This is where I believe things get complicated and become more than “postpartum recovery”.
Ephesians 6:12 KJV- For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
The devil is continually looking for ways to weigh us down and eventually devour us. As we go through each step of life, good or bad, he is looking for any opportunity to trip us up. He looks in our marriage, our homes, our friendships, our family, our church, our job, any place or person to put division , oughts, bitterness, reasons to question God, worry, you name it and Satan’s thought of it.
1Peter 5:8 says KJV- “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”
When trying to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety, one already feeling a little confused and weary, this is a perfect time for Satan to sneak in and “hopefully”… go completely unnoticed, after all, it’s just postpartum depression, right?
My first word of advise would be to not let the devil take place in your mind. As you face weakness, confusion, and depressing thoughts, due to hormonal imbalance. Keep them at bay and guard your heart with the word of God, uplifting preaching songs of worship, thankfulness and praise. Satan cannot dwell in the presence of the things of God and neither can his oppressions.
Isaiah 26: 3 (KJV)- Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Philippians 4:7 (KJV)- And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:8 (KJV) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.
2Timothy 1:7 KJV- For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Psalm 56:3 KJV- What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
Psalm 94:19 KJV-In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.
Verses like these, can help you focus on the things of God, and not give the devil any place while you fight to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety . For as the old saying goes, if you give Satan an inch, he will take a mile.
Is it to late?
Has it been month’s or years and your still facing these battles? Maybe it didn’t even start with a pregnancy but somehow, somewhere in your life, Satan was given just an inch and now he’s taking mile after mile, overwhelming your mind and home with depression, anxiety, and stress.
Living under your privilege
As a child of God, this is NOT God’s will for your life to be overcome by postpartum depression and anxiety!Believe me because I, too, let the devil have an inch of my mind after weeks and weeks of postpartum anxiety. I was convinced I’d always live like this, until one day I’d had enough. I began reading the promises of God, Listening to the the man of God preach, I knew I was living well under my privilege. If you are living a life controlled by anxiety, stress, depression, or anything other than the joys of the Lord, then you, my friend, are as I was, I am now here to offer you a ray of hope.
Promises of God to lean on while trying to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety
It is completely normal to be faced with depression and anxiety, but it should never be normal, as Christians, to live in defeat or to be overcome by these direct attacks of Satan. As a child of God you have the privilege and the weapons to overcome post partum depression and anxiety.
Nehemiah 8:10 (KJV)….for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Isaiah 26: 3 KJV- Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Psalm 146:5 (KJV) Happy [is he] that [hath] the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope [is] in the LORD his God:
Ephesians 4:23 (KJV)And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
Romans 12:21 (KJV) Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good
In Closing
The fact is, many people are trying to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety everyday and never talk about it. If you are one of those people, remember this. How you handle the attack will determine the outcome. Handle every battle with prayer, fight every battle with God’s word, and praise your way through every trial. Never forget that you are an overcomer through Christ! As Easter approaches next month, reflect on this passage…
Isaiah 53:5 (KJV) But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Healing can come in many forms, a healing of the heart, a healing of the body, a healing of the mind. What kind of healing do you need ? The price has already been paid!
Isaiah 41:13 KJV- For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
Matthew 11:28-30 KJV – Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Isaiah 41:10 – KJV Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Psalm 34:4 KJV I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
More recommendations while you overcome postpartum depression and anxiety with Christ
As I have written above, the number one thing to do with depression and anxiety is to give it to God and focus on the things of God .
Here are a few other recommendations for those facing short term, postpartum , hormonal depression and anxiety.
Don’t isolate. It’s so easy to cut yourself off from the world with the coming of a newborn. Make an effort to reach out to friends and family even if it’s by phone. You will be surprised how much a conversation can boost your spirits!
Call instead of Google. Got a new mom question? Call your mother, friend, or sister instead of googling. This gives you an excuse to talk, whilst strengthening your relationships in this straining time.
Txt if u can’t call, at least it’s a person.
Get counsel from spiritual hero. If you’re facing uncertain feelings or worries, don’t hesitate to reach out to a spiritual mother for advice or just a listening ear.
Focus on thankfulness.Negativity is diminished in the presence of gratefulness.
Colossians 3: 15 KJV And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Remember this is just a season, it will pass.
Busy yourself
Idleness is the devils workshop
Work on a new devotional time if needed Don’t loose your devotion time, try out new times & schedules if need be. This leads to my next tip of advise…
Be flexible. Flexibility is a character trait. Practice it, you will stress a lot less when you do.
Forgive yourself. Adding a new life to your home changes EVERYTHING! Don’t expect to figure it all out in the first couple days. You will find a new normal and you will love it, just take your time and forgive yourself when it don’t go as planned .
Treasure the moment. Again, this time is just a chapter of life, don’t miss the joys of it while fretting over the struggle.
Celebrate every little victory. Did the baby sleep 4hrs? Did you drink 8 glasses of water today? Celebrate!
Stop watching the clock. This is one piece of advice I am not very good at. I do know, watching the clock through the night can make for a long night if you’re not careful. One mom recommended not watching the clock through those nights at all. 🤷♀️ Either way, I do recommend not dwelling on every minute of sleep you get or miss.
Sleep whenever and don’t feel guilty. Need a nap? Need to sleep in? Do it! Well, if the baby is you can lol. Remember, your schedule is all mixed up, you might feel guilty taking a nap but that may be the only time to catch up on your rest. And yes, rest is important, even for mom’s.
Toss the schedule if need be. This goes back to flexibility. Don’t fret if your schedule ain’t working out. Try again, or put it on pause, you will get it.
Don’t feel guilty accepting help. It’s ok to accept help or even ask for it. You are not slacking, bad, or a failure for admitting you are overwhelmed. You are just being humble, honest, and human, of which are all admirable traits.
Date your husband. Make time for your husband! My mom always told me, when your babies are gone, you will have your husband, don’t forget to take care of him” did you know you don’t have to leave your baby to date? Check out my post on “Date nights after the kids go to bed” and this post by new mercies on “Date your mate ideas on a budget” many of these can be done at home and with a baby.
Listen to advice but feel no guilt in your own decisions. Advice from other mothers, young and old is priceless. Take it serious and be grateful for it but don’t feel bad about the final decisions you and your husband make together for your little one. God gave you that baby to raise according to His word.
Take care of yourself! Be sure to take care of yourself through this time. Don’t stress over your looks and weight. But don’t “let yourself go” out of stress either.
Give yourself grace. You spent nine months making this baby, don’t expect to be back to normal in 9 weeks, physically or mentally. Make a plan, take little steps, and celebrate your victories.
I hope you have received some type of encouragement from this post. If you know anyone that would benefit from this reading please share below.
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This week, I started my yearly challenge of reading the Bible through. You may be wondering why I continue this practice each year and why I encourage you to do the same? In this post, I will not only share the “whys” with you but I will also share the benefits & blessings of reading your KJV bible all the way through as a homemaker. So let’s get to this!
Why reading the Bible every day is so important ?
Taking the sword
Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Can you imagine heading to battle without your sword or weapon?
In similar comparison, reading the bible regularly is how we equip ourselves with the sword of the spirit, preparing us for the spiritual battle we face daily.
No, I do not believe you have to “carry your bible” everywhere you go to be “equipped with the sword” but I do believe the regular intake of the word equips your heart and mind daily. It only seems natural to equip yourself each day or morning as you prepare to face a new day full of new battles and new surprises.
Hiding the Word Of God in my heart
The psalmist David put it this way…
Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
God used David to show us the importance of hiding God’s word in our heart. How can we “hide the word in our heart” if we are not regularly taking it in, in some way?
Setting the example
Psalm 78: 4 We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength, and His wonderful works that He hath done. 7. That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:
There is no better way to show our children the things of God than through the intaking of His word and living by It.
Let us not only set the example of personal devotion to our children but let us live by every word we read.
It demonstrates commitment & fights spiritual complacency
Reading God’s word daily demonstrates A daily spiritual commitment and is a great way to fight spiritual complacency.
It’s so easy to get “lazy” in the spiritual realm. Reading God’s word not only pushes us to put forth a daily effort in reading but it also challenges your faith daily, through the words you read.
It is a communion we have with God as His child. A place He can speak to us & we can listen.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John1:1 (KJV)
Why Should I Be Reading theBible ALL The Way Through?
You may be wondering why it is important to read the Bible all the way through. Wouldn’t it make sense to read regularly from ‘my favorite parts’ or the books that I feel most pertain unto me?
In theory, that sounds acceptable but if you really believe that the Bible is God’s word, which it is, wouldn’t you want to read ALL of it?
Sure, you may have to push yourself and yes, you may not understand everything you read but if God put it in there then why take a chance on missing out on something He has for you?
I kind of look at it like a child eating dinner. If we allowed our children to always choose their own food , many of them, (mine included!) would have a plate full of sweets and macaroni and cheese. That might be ok for a little bit… but after a while we would begin to see (and they would feel) the negative effects and the lack of good nutrition they are missing out on.
I don’t want to miss out on the spiritual nutrition God has set before me.
Illustration
I am reminded of the story of a little girl who didn’t understand the purpose of her daily Bible reading.
She explained to her grandma how she didn’t understand the use of reading things she didn’t quite understand.
This grandma, full of wisdom, picked up her wicker plant basket, pulled the plant from the basket and asked her granddaughter to head to the creek for a “basket of water”. The granddaughter a tad confused did as her grandma asked.
As the girl came back the basket lost all of the water through its cracks and presented a empty basket to her grandma.
Once again, the gramma sent her granddaughter on a mission to retrieve a “basket of water”. This time the girl ran back as fast as she could with the basket hoping to make it with even a little water remaining. To her dismay she wasn’t fast enough and once again presented her grandma with a empty wicker basket.
The grandma smiled and simply said “child will you get me just one more basket of water from the creek?” The girl in confusion and dismay headed back to the creek and returned with yet another empty basket.
As the Grandma looked on the disappointed and confused child with the empty basket she pointed out the purpose of her odd request.
The basket, though empty, was now clean as could be. Although the basket wasn’t able to contain all of the water, the dirt left from the plant had been all washed out.
The same goes for reading God’s word. You may feel like you don’t “contain much” of what you read but you are continually being cleansed by the words of God as you daily take them in and live by them.
How does reading the Bible effect me as a homemaker?
…but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Prob 31-30
As homemakers why wouldn’t we want to prepare ourselves for the battle, set the example to our children, challenge ourselves, and clean our souls on a daily basis?
Just because you don’t work a 8-5 public job doesn’t mean you don’t need daily strength. Matter of fact, your “job” is 24/7 and if your like me, you need all the strength you can get!
Don’t ever underestimate your own walk with God. You need your daily time with the Lord as much as anyone else. Be sure to make time for God admits the household chaos, it will be so worth it! He can give you the strength, patience, wisdom, and sanity to face your day if you give Him the opportunity .
Is Reading My Bible Daily Doable As A Full Time Homemaker?
Yes! If you have never read your bible through, it may seem like a daunting task, especially as a mom but IT IS DOABLE if you are willing to commit and do it.
Maybe you have read your bible through in the past but now life seems a bit crazy and your not sure your up to it again. This is where priorities need to kick in. If you will realize the importance of reading your bible through and set it as a true priority YOU CAN DO IT! You may need to reprioritise some of your daily activities, shift your schedule a tad or try out a new reading method.
It’s so easy to get set in a rut and when things don’t work the same old way, we just assume they don’t work at all . Sometimes, different stages of life require us to try different approaches or to put it into one word, be “flexible”.
Tips to work daily reading into your BUSY mom life.
Get up a tad earlier in the morning
Stay up a tad later at night
Include your kids by reading the Bible to them
Set up a quiet time , let the big kids read book, babies take naps, and you read! When your done take some time to yourself to finish up other duties that require your full attention and quietness.
Split your daily reading up into chapters. Read a chapter in AM, one at lunch, one at bedtime etc. until your daily reading is finished
Talk to your husband about setting aside a short period of time each day that he can watch the kids while you focus on devotions.
Reevaluate. We often spend way to much time on petty things. Take something you need to cut back on and replace part of that time with reading.
Make a habit to read as soon as your kids go to bed. Half of the battle will be conquered just by setting the habit.
Although I believe actual reading is often the best way to take in content. I realize this isn’t always the best option for everyone. With that said , I absolutely love listening to the FREE Gideon KJV dramatized bible(linked below). You can even follow along if you wish. I like to listen to the Bible while I’m going about my daily duties in addition to my daily reading. This provides a way for me to take God’s word in more often while I am attending to my daily responsibilities.
How To Finish Reading Your KJV Bible In One Year
•3 chapters a day & 5 chapters on Sunday = (23chapters per week)
•4 chapters every day= (28chapters per week)
•4 chapters every day on week days. (mon-fri). & 2 chapters a day on the weekend (sat-sun) = (24 chapters per week)
•3 chapter a day on week days (mon-fri) & 4 chapters on the weekend (sat-sun) =(23 chapters per wk)
*Each of these calculations will have you finished at a minimum of 1year, if kept on track. The reading plans that contain a little more the 23 chapters per week will have you done a little early or will give you a little wiggle room in case you get a tad behind.
You can split it up however you want, just be sure to read a minimum of 23 chapters per week to finish the 1,189 chapters of the KJV bible in one year (52wks). To read the Bible through 2 times in one year just double the amount of chapters (46 per week).
There are many bible reading plans and charts for sale at a very responsible price. Some of these charts are made to where you read less of the large chapters and more of the smalll chapters together, balancing your daily reading time better.
Check your local bible book store, Amazon, online Christian book stores, ask your pastor, and even check the back of your bible for these types of charts & reading plans.
Another option is this One Year KJV bible wich I LOVE. The entire bible is set up to read through in one year with each day distinguished right there in the Bible. ❤️. Check out my link here to order your own!
If Already Read Daily, What Else Can I do?
If you already read your bible through regularly, congratulations! Maybe you are wondering if there are more ways to instill God’s word in your heart as a homemaker. If you haven’t already, try out some of these ideas below!
• Try bible journaling. Bible journaling has became super popular! Check this adorable journaling bible (I love mine like this). If you like drawing, coloring, note taking, or are just creative in general you may find bible journaling very for filling.
• Include your children in an additional “smaller challenge” by reading the New Testament through. Did you know you can read the entire New Testament in a year by just reading 5 chapters per week? This is a great way to introduce your children to bible reading while adding a additional slower paced reading for yourself.
•Add in study sessions. There’s nothing better then getting yourself a good study Bible and purposely setting aside time to study what you read. There are so many amazing study bibles and devotionals to follow. I myself love the life in the spirit study Bible linked below.
• Listen to audio Bible. As mentioned before, listening to the Bible has many great benefits. The Gideon app is currently my favorite FREE bible audio. Audio Bible also comes on CD at most book stores or online.
•Memorize God’s word. You are never to old for bible memorization! It’s easy to teach our kids to memorize the scripture and stop memorizing ourselves. The more you can memorize now, the more great full you will be that you did.
Whether you already read your bible through yearly or if you never heard of it before in your life, either way, I hope you feel inspired to do more!
Check out the links mentioned throughout the post below and don’t forget to like, subscribe and share!
Also, if you would be interested in hearing about more of “my favorite bibles” and how I use them, let me know in a comment below.
Related Links
Gideon Bible App (KJV option in app). https://apps.apple.com/us/app/gideon-bible-app/id1000709020
As parents, we are our children’s God given authority.
With that said, we will always stand under God’s authority in every aspect of our lives and parenting is no different.
For the last several months, my heart has been stirred as I have prayed and studied to have a deeper knowledge and wisdom in parenting.
One particular topic caught my attention as a author pointed out how we, as parents, should never abuse our parental authority.
This author was not referring to any type of physical abuse but was speaking more directly to the Godly parent who is striving to raise their child in the love of God within the biblical boundaries, God himself set.
How is it possible that someone like this would regularly “abuse” their parental authority?
Authority abuse is any parental act taken that is not approved of in God’s word.
Examples Would Be..
Incorrect Response To Anger-
Anyone ever yelled at their child out of frustration ? (I’m Guilty)
Anger itself is not sin but how we act on it, can quickly become sin.
Words, correction, or advice given in anger will never leave a positive effect in our child’s life.
We know this, but do we take action to prevent it? If not, we are stepping outside of our parental boundaries and we will stand before God for our actions. Ephesians 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath
Selfishness-
Am I the only one who has parented with selfish motives?
Neglect due to our own desires when our children need our devout attention,
is, in a way, selfishness.
A woman once said,
“ My kids are not the distraction, everything else is”.
This is the mentality I want to have!
So many times it’s so hard to “pause” a project to turn our attention to our children’s needs. I don’t mean an emergency “need”, I’m talking about a need that could possibly wait but is more important than our current “project” or distraction.
Failure To Seek Forgiveness
Is it just me, or is it hard to tell a three year old that you are sorry for how you handled a parenting situation? And not just say it but mean it.
We must humble ourselves before our children and before God. If we don’t, we are, in a sense, abusing our authority .
Our children will gain our trust and respect when we live honestly before them and before God. They will also learn most from our actions.
Proverbs 16:18
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
This past week, I found myself in a similar situation. I confronted my three year old in embarrassment, as I explained why I was sorry for my ungodly reaction and what the correct action should have been. I did not blame his actions causing my mistake, I was not there to talk about him, I was confessing my own sin.
About 10 minutes later, my little boy hollered at me from his bunk bed, “Mommy, I’m sorry for being mean to you”. My heart melted as my little boy apologized for his earlier actions. This was the first time he had ever apologized on his own terms. He had learned from my example.
These examples are just a select few parenting principles taught in God’s word.
I’m sure you can think of plenty more!
I challenge you today, as I have recently been challenged, to examine your parenting habits, making sure you are staying within the biblical boundaries God has set.
How can we expect our children to obey us if we are not actively striving to obey God?
2 Corinthians 13.5 (KJV)
Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves.
I remember my dad apologizing to me after reacting with a tone of aggravation to a situation.
My own aggravation quickly fell away as I saw my dad admitting to his imperfection. As a Father, he was openly striving to raise me God’s way. Little did he know, I would walk away with much more respect for his rules, teachings, and advice that day.
He had showed me first hand that honesty was his goal and that he had my best interest in mind, not just his convenience. He also showed me that he recognized his accountability to God.
Let’s us give our children a reason to respect us.
I hope this post encourages you to examine yourself as a parent.
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As a newlywed wife, I had prepared a full-course, homemade dinner.
After saying the blessing, we both took a bite and in disgust I ran to spit out the horrible tasting food.
Me and my husband soon determined the source of the bitter meal was from the soured milk I had mistakenly used.
This one bad ingredient had ruined nearly the entire meal!
I remember how my heart sank, and my eyes filled with tears as I realized all of the time, energy, and ingredients wasted, due to me not paying better attention.
And, to make matters worse, I had now effected my family, who sat hungry, with no dinner.
My wonderful husband, In mercy, lovingly laughed, and whisked me off to dine in town.
Since then, I always double check my milk before cooking, and although I have yet to make the same mistake in the physical term, I’m ashamed how many times I have “forgot to check” things of much more importance.
I’m not sure how many times I have been going about my day in peace and harmony, when something so simple, triggers MY response of aggravation, MY attitude of moodiness, or MY shortage of patience.
Instantly, the atmosphere and mood of my home changes for the negative.
We often joke about the phrase,
But have you ever wondered why this seems to be so true?
(Titus 2:3-5 KJV)
Instructs the aged women teach the young women to be the “keepers at home”
We often translate this responsibility as only “the keeper of the home” as in, cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, homemaking, etc.
And yes, those things are a big part of “keeping at home”, but remember, a home is more then just a house.
HOME: A place where one lives, especially as a member of a family or household.
According to definition, it takes people (your family) to make a home.
God, help us to acknowledge the power and responsibility we have over the atmosphere of our home and family.
Let us strive to set the example of the fruits of the spirit .
Keeping our home in love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.
Just as we check for bad milk, let us check ourselves before we act or speak.
And never forget, each time we slack, it’s those we love most that are affected most.
MILK secrets you may not know about!
1. Craving chocolate milk while trying to cut back? Try out this amazing sugar free Hershey syrup!
It’s only 5 calories, 0 fat, and is
so good!
The limitations are endles, heat it up for some hot cocoa,
use it as fruit dip, or yes, just drink a
good ole glass of chocolate milk ????.
2.
Did you know you can make the best caramel ever right in your crock
pot with only one ingredient? You
guessed it, sweetened condensed
milk!
How to:
Empty your cans of evaporated milk into jelly or pint size, glass canning jars. Top with rings & lids, leaving about a inch of space between milk and top of jar. Cover cans with water.
Cook on low for 6-8 hrs. Time may very depending on your crock pot and amount of jars you cook. (I recommend a maximum of 2 pint size or 3 jelly jars for a large crock pot) this should hold approximately 2-3 traditional cans of sweetened condensed milk.
Caramel is done when there is no white (milk) left mixed in caramel.
For thin caramel (great for fruit dip & dessert toppings, remove caramel while still light colored. For a thicker caramel (great for pies) cook a little longer until darker in color.
Carefully remove jars from water . Place somewhere safe to cool.
DO NOT OPEN UNTIL COOLED!
Note – caramel will thicken some as it cools . Take a mental note of the time you cooked your caramel and adjust cook time as needed to fit your needs.
3.
Have you ever tried old fashioned milk cake? No? Me either ????.
I’ve been reading about it and I found this recipe that I so want to try!
Mabey you would like to try it with me!
https://www.tasteofhome/recipes/hot-milk-cake/
Hope you have enjoyed this post! If so LIKE & SUBSCRIBE! ❤️and check out my related post below !
