If you have been married any time at all, you probably have faced the battle of how to deal with unfulfilled expectations within your home.

With Valentine’s Day just behind us, I thought it would be a great time to confront this topic of unfulfilled expectations, the damage they can cause, and how to avoid them.

The truth is, the money market has made a feast of holidays and special occasions. These special holidays can come with a lot of pressure and a large price . I’m not bashing holidays nor traditions, but we really shouldn’t let the pressure of those around us determine what we must do for our families, even when it comes down to holidays and traditions. I mean really, just because you didn’t have this years, new outfit for the elf on the shelf’s best friend… doesn’t mean your Christmas was in vain! In fact, I prefer the shepherd anyway lol . But that’s a fact for another day. 😜

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations

Who and where are some of these unfulfilled expectations coming from of which are pressuring our families and homes?

A few areas that unfulfilled expectations come from are…

• social media & the web
• friends & family
• ourselves & our past

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from social media & the web

Many of our “unrealistic ideas” come from social media or the web. This is really kind of sad. Why, you may ask? Because, the fact is, we are overwhelming ourselves, our families, and our homes with expectations birthed from people we don’t even know! We think they have it all together and really, we just see the highlights of many peoples lives. We then expect our life to look like this “perfect fairytale” made up of little clips of some strangers “few” special moments. Why is it that our homes must have the latest style for us to feel a sense of joy, our kids the best Pinterest birthday party to be happy… (or is it for us to be happy?) and our poor husbands must practically preform a ridiculous check list of social media inspired honey do’s before they meet the qualifications of a “good” husband? Whatever happened to God’s qualifications of a peaceful home and Godly spouse? My suggestion? Drop the fairy tale idea, acknowledge you are human, (as is whoever you have been following after online).Then consider limiting your time from such powerful/negative influences and replacing them with something positive and actually productive such as the standards of a spouse found in Ephesians 5:22-33 or the foundations of homemaking in Proverbs 31.

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from friends & family

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations caused by friends and family can be quite tricky. Sometimes friends and family don’t even realize the pressure they are putting on you while other times they may feel like their expectations are justified by your well being and their love for you. We must realize that we have our own family and own decisions to make according to God’s direction. We cannot base the expectations of what our home should be or how it should operate by what our friends or family expect. With that said, we must be cautious and loving when we go against the grind of friends and family. You can do what’s right the wrong way or you can do what’s right the right way! If your gonna do it right, why not do it all the way right? Always remeber that a “friend loveth at all times” … Proverbs 17:17 (even when we disagree) and a proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” that’s still true even with friends & family.

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations from ourselves

The last area I want to discuss is how to deal with unfulfilled expectations that we have placed on ourselves . These expectations may have originated from the previous points above (things we have seen on the web or by ideas family & friends may have birthed) . Or they may have been made by our raising, how our childhood was orchestrated, or how we always imagined the perfect home to be. As ladies, we are often our highest critic. More times than not, we find ourselves criticizing everything about ourselves to no avail and with no mercy. “My house is never clean, my kids won’t listen, my clothes don’t fit, I just can’t, can’t, can’t, CAN’T!!” Anybody relate, or do I stand here alone? The truth is, we are human and we must rely on God to help us be the wife, mom, and homemaker that we should be. We cannot dwell on such negative thinking of ourselves and we cannot set expectations that are unreasonable.

…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8

In closing

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